The Reflections of Father and Daughter

 In Fun Home, the most prominent scene in the whole book stands out as the transfiguration where Alison and her father finally recognize each other and in the aspect of her father seeing her true identity and the fear he feels correlating to that. On Page 118, Alison sees a masculine presenting woman in the diner while eating with her father. Her awe is palpable as she says she didn’t know women could dress like that. Then further on that page, Bechdel writes “Dad recognized her too; “Is that what you want to look like?” Bruce dawns an almost fearful demeanor as he questions Alison's fascination with the woman. Alison quickly responds with “No.” as she says “What else could I say?” later down the page. She follows up with how this experience haunted her father. I think this scene not only haunted her father but also the narrative. An aspect that is central to the novel is Bruce’s internalized homophobia towards himself due to him shielding his identity away from public view. With Alison’s journey through a new society where identifying as queer is accepted instead of publicly shunned, not only does her father almost resent her for it but it is almost their final attempt to connect before and after his tragic passing. Alison looks for this connection in photos, memories, anything that remains of the life Bruce built and the life he could never truly live. 

Bruce’s fear of his own identity is one of the central aspects of Fun Home as it directly impacts Alison’s coming of age narrative as she finds her place in a world that is comparatively more accepting than the world that Bruce lived in. Alison mentions her fathers quirk as a consequence of him hiding his true identity from the world for years and eventually ending up creating a picture perfect life in order to express himself otherwise. With the scene in the diner, Bruce’s worst fear is actualized as Alison finds herself questioning her identity just like him. His fear of being shunned and obsession with outer perfection rightfully breaks the illusion he has built if Alison begins to show her identity outwardly. His expression in the diner scene is one of peculiarity but a bit of fear, the fear of uncertainty and for Alison to be shunned from society like he once was. Bruce’s projection of his feelings onto Alison is not only shown through her childhood as he forced her to dress feminine and act according to societal standards. 

Alison’s own narrative is haunted by her father, in how she sees her own life with him at the center. She centered him so heavily in her life that everything leading up to his death now becomes a sign to her. She is so heavily conflicted with how her father met his fate as she herself states how she believes it is suicide compared to a freak accident. The scene I mentioned previously is, I would argue, the catalyst not only for Alison’s coming to terms with her own identity but Bruce’s lack of control of her and her identity. I think due to this fact Alison feels this grief for her father and she was able to live the life he was never able to. Her central focus on her father walking through his shoes and reliving her childhood through this novel highlights this. She relates her father so tightly to her own life and her own identity that it almost seems that they are the same character, so intertwined. 

Fun Home is a journey not only through Alison’s life and her dealing with the aftermath of her father’s passing but the grief that follows that. The inability to show your true identity to the world in fear of being shunned but seeing your child living their truth as you were unable to. A story that centers Alison's growth and her grappling with this immense loss and searching for a connection with her father in any place she can find it. Maybe that diner scene signified when Bruce knew the picture perfect family had fallen apart and now his act could finally end.